A conjecture was recently made to me that I questioned and pondered. You can be one of three kinds of friends.
- You are the friend that is called when someone has boy/girl issues and needs an understanding and caring ear.
- I don’t remember this one
- You will be the kind of friend someone calls to tell they had a shitty day and will respond with “let’s go get drunk”.
Actually, those might have really been the only two she said. She claimed to be in the latter category, though it is not always crass. She isn’t the “touchy-feely” type who will talk about feelings. Sure, she’ll listen if you have a problem, but there had better be beer involved, because there won’t be any crying. Commiserating sure, but not crying. That made me wonder what kind of friend I am. I’ll go out for a beer if someone is having a bad day. Then again, I’ll also lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on if need be.
Then I got to thinking. Can we be a different friend to different people? Do different friends require different methods of consolation? And if so, and you modify your behaviour based on the friend you’re around, to whom do you turn when you have your own issues?
(sorry. My Name is Earl this week inspired me to do a Bradshaw-esque aside)
Joking questions aside, what kind of person are you when you change your methods based on your current company? Do you change who you talk to based on the situation you are going through? There are certain people I will moan about a bad day to, but few (if any) I would discuss very personal issues with. That may be the guy in me, but I do truly tend to keep my personal problems to myself.
What about you? Do you discuss personal issues with friends? If so, are they different friends than those you drown your faux sorrows in beer with?
nicolaus witchger 