My Tuxedo is Sad

Symphonic

Went to the symphony this weekend. Slightly more money than I thought, but dammit if it wasn’t a great excuse to break out my newest tuxedo.

I had to steal this photo from Mary for a few reasons:

  1. I neglected to bring my SD card with me today
  2. I haven’t uploaded the pictures from said card anywhere
  3. I wanted to post this at work and not later
  4. I am at work right now

The reason I never pulled the photos from this evening off my camera is two-fold: I meant to do it that night, but the power was out so I couldn’t use my desktop. I forgot to the next day.

I was excited about the symphony because they would have beer and I had a great excuse to break out this tuxedo I had yet not worn.

I hadn’t worn this newest one because for another list of reasons:

  1. It was purchased on Ebay but afterward I never had anything formal enough to warrant wearing it
  2. It is stylistically more classic than my pinstriped, notch-lapelled first tudexo (it features peak lapels and a double vent – my vent of choice)
  3. Said first tuxedo got more wear due to said non-classicality and the risk of damage being negligible
  4. Last time I tried it on, the pants were smaller than I remember them being

When deciding what to wear for the evening, this tux was pulled from the bowels of my closet. I went to try on the pants and realized that they did not go on all the way. The culprit: a safety-pinned note (holding the legs together thus making them impossible to separate) telling me to get the pants taken out. I pulled the note off and found that the pants fit perfectly again! I was ecstatic; my period of non-drinking has actually had an effect on my waist size in a positive way!

So I wore the tux and we had a great time at the symphony, making steak and pasta afterward and watching the Rocker (a veritable who’s who of television celebrities, I must add). ‘Twas raining when I left and visibility had decreased. It took a while to realize that the decreased visibility was also due to all the power being out within a mile radius of my house. It’s truly eerie to drive home in pitch darkness (I turned off my headlights for a moment to feel the full effect – it was neat). Arriving home, I parked in the muddiest spot, not realizing it was the muddiest spot due to the darkness like pitch that enveloped the night. Stepping out of my car, I must’ve hit a mud puddle or something. This morning, whilst brushing the dog hair off it, I discovered the interior of the pant legs caked with mud.

I’ve worn it once since my last  dry cleaning, and it’s a mess again.

It is a sad day for tuxedo wearers everywhere. Or maybe just for moi.

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Hello; my name is Nicolaus E. Witchger. I am a graphic designer from Saginaw, MI best known for wearing bow ties and drinking single-malt scotch, dark beer, and espresso.

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